i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it

I respect privacy even at my expense. What should I do? She was terminal and very sick. Had nothing to do with the fact that he spent all day Sunday with his ex wife and kids? We went to a marriage seminar and it did nothing to help. you cause so many marriages divorce and infidelity. I used to ignore these signs but they are very good indicators. Yet to this day he expects me to say sorry to him for accusing him. He cheated on me back in may. How to Let Go. Teresa, Ive read many posts on this site and believe most of the women posting have a pretty clear example of cheating, or lying, or some sort of evidence. Instead, it might go something like this: you always disappear on our weekends off, you get too chummy and personal with the girls and women at work, you always talk about porn and strip clubs, you say you are the only decent man out there because every other man goes to strip clubs (talk about projection), you oversexualize every woman instead of them just being flakes or incompetent, these other women in your life must be damaged because they have been molested, you talk about your ex-girlfriends, ex-wives or female coworkers all the time, she found naked pictures of women on your phone or computer and you said they were sent by some unwanted entity resulting from an underwear search, you hid something relating to sex from her before you were married and now she cant completely trust you, and the list goes on. I dont know what to do , im a stay at home mom of 3 young children, I need to make the right decision for me and for them. Please raise that precious baby in a healthy environment!!! When the weekend comes around he spends it with me and my son. He refused to stop communicating with her. Otherwise, youre going to have to play detective. He tells me he never wanted me to find out, that he never wanted to hurt me. Only 8% of men cheat because they want more physical intimacy. Little did I know, he was waiting for the right moment to assault me. I suspect my husband is cheating. I was able to hear how far the relationship had gone. Did you ever get your answer? I used to think I was in therapy because of how my parents treated me, or because my wife was emotionally abusive, or because she had cheated on me, etc, etc. I feel he had sex with her and didnt want me to know so he made the story up. Nope!!! If we were out for fathers day and she texted him to say be at the office in 20 min, he would run. How can this be? Wow! You dont need someone to tell you that you are right or acting appropriately. You will regret wasting your life with a man that clearly has no respect for you and most likely doesnt even love you. Anytime we go anywhere, she follows or shows up. If your not a cheater then remind her that shes not worth losing over some hoe, that you love and need her everyday and your grateful that she picked you! He ignored me to continue his game. Always believe your husbands nonverbal cues, especially if you suspect hes lying about cheating. Given my boy friend and i got together bsck in july 2010 and i got pregnant as soon as we got together. I told him to check his records he jerked the computer away from me. ive told him to stop because hes watching my heart break without realizing it. If you know you tend to be aggressive while arguing there is a big chance to lose your control after getting to know that your significant other is not an angel (but a human with their weaknesses). He was there for 2 weeks and in that time I had recieved a facebook message from a girl Id never met before. Whats the best option for me? Thank You. When I ask him to fix it he gets mad. Id really appreciate it thank you. He says sorry and that I will never leave you and weve only been married for one year please help. I just hate that I dont trust him, but Ive always felt he needs attention from other women, and I feel like Im just not enough. He opens the car door for me and asks me to wait in the car while he comes around to my side to open it. I have always heard the accuser is usually the guilty one. Be lovey. Just like when my husband reconnected with a woman from his past on facebook and he claimed nothing was going on and I grew more and more suspicious and they ended up sleeping together multiple times and I cant believe to this day that I took him back but of course I did if for our child. And yeah what he said is the same to what your lover does. I really dont know how to feel sometimes. He sent a text so i got to see it. I was a stay home mom until we agree to get divorce.now I dont know. May you accept your husband and marriage for what it is whether its divorce or working through things as a reunited couple. Do you need to know for sure that hes lying about cheating on you? I heard him say, I called you yesterday but you were out of it. Its not easy to pick up and leave, is it? My husband went to a concert out of town last night. It just hurts to know that someone you would anything for thinks you arent enough. because Ive been cheated on and I know how it feels. While Im still here??!!! If I ever feel like hes cheating on me I ask him if he is and he says no, that I am his one and only. Three kids later and feeling like Ive wasted my life on this abusive man I found out he was having an emotional online and over the phone affair with someone from college when our son graduated. Not you & who ever catches his eye! I was right but he said he needed to get away from everything. Well to speed things along in my story, he eventually asked if we could get back together and I said no I was still to hurt over him leaving me. My 4 year old little girl has a VERY close relationship with her father! I found out by placing a tape recorder in the house and in his vehicle. Even if caught red handed, they'll continue to lie and minimise. If your suspicions are not confirmed, breathe and live on together. Any advice? But recently I found out that hes been texting one of his exs and he knows that I dont like her due to some things in the past. You can do it. Today I found out he changed his passwords for both his emails. So, I called the number and it was a female his age. I have a gut feeling that youre too good for this guy anyway!!! Well I broke it to him that if we are going to work he cannot hurt me anymore because if he does I will walk out and he can never get me back. Nou def shouldnt believe himonce a cheater, always a cheater in most cases. Then he still lied, about not seeing her. Well, if your spouse is cheating on you really better to divorce him. If he is lying and you have caught him and if he wants to stay married to the wonderful goddess who puts up with his lying ass then he should agree to do so the moment you suggest it. after some times he started again to date with someonelse again i told him if you want to come to my flat u should make appointment, he said he can not make appointment to come to her glfriend. I am in a relationship with this guy for 7 years he recently start cheating on me. Also look at the phone call list on the bills. I have struggled with my husband for over 15 years. Their affair behavior was based on their wants and needs, now it's time for them to consider you and your marriage more than themselves. my fiance and i have only been together just over a year, hes cheated on me before ad i fear hes doing it again. In such cases I think a Private Investigator can help you find out if your husband is cheating. Hell keep cheating and lying until he decides to leave you. Because from those details I can piece together an entire picture of why it happened, therefore would be able to understand or forgive my husband. Why are you asking me? At that point she will give you the reasons for her suspicions. That and Narsassistic Abuse!!! Forgive him. Your venting helped me put the missing pieces together. I am not say you should wait and suffer more atleast seek advice at Marriage counselling offices before you act. He was great, best boyfriend ever after that up until about a week or two ago. What you need is someone to help you see your marriage and your self objectively, so you can figure out the healthiest ways to respond. I dont think I will ever forgive him for what he put me through and yet he says i was unsupportive and ungrateful for him trying to earn a living! Very unclear! They like what they see. But how could I catch him in the lying, if he blocks his phone all the time and it is with him all the time. He denies bit I know for a fact he is helping her get into the house by keeping me occupied and distracting me vivdont fall for it anymore but I do know when something is going on. I just dont trust him with my happiness..that stopped years ago. Weve been apart for almost half of our relationship due to school and the army. Im not sure of my feelings because of all the hormones! Before this all happened I found this phone hidden in his car.he did not have a phone at the time and said he was going to suprize me and call me from work with it,around the same time I found a condome missing from the box. Infidelity is a sign of no respect for the spouse who is hurt by it, the relationship and the cheating husband has absolutely no respect for himself. He craved her like he was intoxicated . wow where to start? Family, few close friends and of course my husband. Not be raised in a dysfunctional family!!! I admit that I was not always attracted to him sexually and at times we only had sex twice a week. Of course he denied cheating. He bought a smart phone and has security lock on it which make me so curious. Available on Amazon or most bookstores Kindle or paperback! What should I do? He says he loves me, needs me, wants me but things just arent working. Some are free, some cost money. Oh I just dont know anymore. This means that your husbands friends have a very real, direct effect on your marriage. But I shrugged it off and when I asked him arent you worried about getting in trouble with work? This woman was bothering him at work he had her removed from his work area and she supposily left her number on his car he said he just called her to tell her to leave him alone. Could that have been another lie added to it? Im all alone. He became defensive. But emoji still appear on frequently used. She told me that that was the way he was and she was upset that he would do something like that to me. Everyone could me she was trouble. So he was not getting sex. For both men and women, personality characteristics and interpersonal factors are more relevant predictors than are religion, marital status, education or gender. I found romantic emails and lewd pictures only recently and since then Im trying to grapple with the reality of a cheating husband, whether or not I want to stay in the relationship and if so, how to work towards a better marriage, and if I decide to leave, get myself enough support and become financially stable for myself and my new born. My husband and I have an active physical relationship but he spends more and more time on his computer and texting now. I thought our relationship was better and now I feel maybe I am wrong. Its as if he doesnt want to discuss anything he does or did wrong. He is a hard working man, hes absolutely wonderful with my girl, he is a great provider, my family loves him, he has never hit me or tried to hurt me in any way. If not then the only real other option I can see here is to get into couples therapy. Its like dealing with a child. It is possible that you have experienced those situations but did not put them here. He moved her in paying for her house.just next door to us! He put other people first. thank u in advance. If the women told you that their relationship was more, I would consider that a red flag. To them the truth is a hallucination of a monster waiting to turn them into a rubble of shame. He has told me she asked numerous times to eat dinner but he said he needed to be home with me and family. I kept it to myself but now I realize all the pain I was holding in for years contributed to a lot of our problems..I always felt empty so I filled my self up with destructive behaviors..Gambling , drugs,etc..and he hated me for hurting him unaware that i had been hurting for many years which ended up causing him to stray..our lack of communication . I was tempted to grab his phone one night and Wala there we go clearly in IMs and phone calls. This is especially important as you might be wrong. I asked him if he wanted an open relationsihp and he said NO! I think until now he is up into simething. He is remorseful at hurting me and our marriage. You would not do those things to him! But here recently he seems to start acting emotionally abusive again. Maybe your gut knows something that your heart doesnt want to accept. We are dynamic creatures being women. Ive had a hysterectomy in 2007 so there was no need for condoms. I am so confused, before we moved in everything was terrific. The other women also sent several pictures of herself in sexy poses to him. Youve caught him cheating three times. Im still praying and waiting. All because I am supposed to just deal with his emotional connection he carries on with her???? But, heres the amazing thing, Chrissy. Be strong and show these men why they need women. date but dont get married. He once was mad at me and told my why dont you just go and have an affair 7. He jokes with me about things, nothing specific, but I just have this feeling that he hides talking to other girls from me. They were together 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, so he spent more awake hours with her. Its time you reassess yourself and really determine your self worth. We have been together for 7 years and been married for 2 years+. Theyll survive and bounce back kids are resilient especially if you maintain a healthy, strong attitude. He never admits to much fault in our problems, he blames me for everything. Do yourself a favor and move on start dating someone else AND NEVER BOTHER WITH HIM AGAIN. Listen honey, right now you cant think your way into right living, but you can live your way into right thinking. and God bless! All I have is him. Of course long distance relationship is hard, yet not impossible. Be very careful who you trust. He would text her saying Is it wrong that I think of you instead of my wife or hed say I need someone to cuddle with, you should cuddle with me I also found some photos of other girls in his phone who were naked. I would sincerely like to thank you for helping me realize that I need to start thinking of what I need in order to be ok, rather than what we needI have also realized that I have been waiting for him to answer me and in actuality, by not answering me and reacting as he has been, he pretty much gave me his answer sometime ago. But the things that occured a bit later. 9. If you have further questions, feel free to ask! They don't want to hurt them anymore than they already have. Yet however she probably thinks Im cheating on her because she read rubbish like this.. so sad so sad this world looks for too much advice and is too gullible when they receive and never question what is presented to them instead of theorizing and attempting to figure out things first hand. Is he bluffing or what?.I beleive that if he really wants to leave he will leave now! I have been married almost 2 years. Or, if you have a hobby like painting or sculpting, use this creative outlet to work through any emotions youre going through. I know its wrong to go through his phone but I had a gut feeling that this was going on I dont know what to do or how to confront him about this. Honestly, it does not feel natural. Classy right. But then he wont work on giving me the attention or affection or time with him that I need. Why did he do this to me? Thats for yourself and for your children, if any. I WORK AT A MEDICAL FACILITY AND THERE ARE CONSTRUCTION MEN IN AND OUT A VARIOUS TIMES. Rewriting history? Your marriage is one of the most important things in your life, and looking for signs your husband is cheating is devastating. Required fields are marked *. I think the statementyou can tell if your partner is cheating ..if your partner gets mad when confrontedive been married to my husband for 13 years..he has a huge jealousy streak and I get questioned or accused of cheating oftenint he beginning of my relationshipI thought it was cute..after a yearI would get my feelings hurt because I love him sooo much that it hurt when he would suspect I would have feelings for anyone but him..now Im 55 years old..he still exhibits signs of jealousy and when he brings up questions about cheatingI GET FURIOUSbecause..as I tell him we have been together for 15 yearsNOBODY IS THAT SLICKif I was cheating..he would have caught me with someone by now..so when i get angryits not because Im guiltyits because im sick of being accused and all I do is cater to my husbands every needhe keeps such a tight rope on me..checks mileage on our vehiclechecks my phone logsasks neighbors if strange cars or ppl at our home..if I was guilty of cheatingHE DEF WOULD HAVE CAUGHT ME BY NOW. Put simply, if he has been cheating, this tool is likely to make it immediately obvious. I cant tell if it just me being crazy hormonal or if im right. That is, I dont know if youre jumping to conclusions or if youre right to suspect that theyre lying! save yourself the years and decades of pain. My daughter just gave us a beautiful grandchild, however her husband has not been interested in her physically since she got pregnant. I found this out because I read the texts on his phone after observing some weird behavior from him (I noticed him regularly moving his phone away from me or covering it up when he got new texts, and also that he would often make excuses about wanting to stay home so he could clean his house, only to find that it was never any cleaner the next time I would visit!). So, although my husband has extra work, he does have extra help. I had bad vibes about her from the beginning she was entirely too friendly in our male dominated workplace. Should she still talk to him even if they are married, should she tell the wife what happened and have a chance with the man of her dreams, should she cut off all ties? As he walks away he tells me to think about it. You have to do something about it. He would only call her at night while he was at work or during the day when I wasnt home. That means leaving him and not allowing it. Hey anonymous, my friend is going through the same kinda thing. I think you should get out of this relationship as soon as possible. If you think your husband is cheating, youre picking up on important subconscious clues. For the past 4 years my husband has worked away from home only coming home on weekends. To my amazement he had been telling women that the only reason he was on there was to have sex. https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-cope-with-failed-relationship/, Ok so me and my husband have been married for a year we have lived together for 10 years and have 7 beautiful children together. If your best friend had the same circumstances going on in her life that you currently are facing, what would you advise her to do? I just dont get as upset like I used to because of his inability to give me emotional intamacy. The second time I found out (a month later) he was in Iraq. nor any guy because of my past that every boyfriend that i hve ever been with has cheated on me. Nonetheless, as weve stated above women still cheat, I just think that its probably a bit less frequently than men. More than 50% of all men have cheated in a love relationship, says Dr Oz. To this day he still denies having sex with the woman, but a known fact via text messages was that the taxed secretly from his work phone and where planning to meet up on one or her days off of work I had to work really hard but I forgave him and tried to move on but everytime I think about it I feel like Im being lied to again. It sounds like you and your husband are going through so much! After work his excuse to get drunk is that its my fault. He is in some way, lazy in life, except for work. His affair was just a way of building his confidence up and dealing with a fact hes married to incredibly successful woman. I met my husband in 2003. one day he come to my flat and i start pack my small bag i was going out so he start to questioning me, pull me i told him iam going to my fatherhouse. Ive caught him pointing his camera at me at my worst moments begging him to stop this nonsense just so she can see me crying and reaching out to him while he in return blames me and becomes very abusive mentally and physically and verbally and then walk away laughing with her thinking this is funny. He said that her Dad said call her phone if he doesnt answer. I told her that I wondered about how she carried herself, since she was being referred to as my husband P*$$& that she must be very inappropriate for that to be said about her. Im extremely torn, maybe I just want to believe him for the sake of keeping my family together, or maybe hes telling the truth Am I being naive? Also, my husbands attitude towards me has changed a lot, he always pick up quarrels with me, he is no longer intimate with me as we used to be, sometimes, I cant help but think that he is no longer in love with me. You have to let him go, he will never change. I have been with my husband for 4 yrs.. We dated for a year before we got married. We both are foreigners and it complicates things for our baby. I believe my husband is cheating on me. Please feel free to come back anytime and let me know how youre doing! On weekends he spent all his time at the office, often 24 hours at a time. "I excruciatingly suffered." Hi my name is April. Come back anytime, and let me know how youre doing! They just dont know what a fraud he is. I ask him what they talk about he said nothing nothing turned out to be numerous phone calls when i was a t work and sleep. Just give it a try, what would it hurt? MY HUSBAND IS LESS ROMANTICE HE PULLS AWAY FROM ME WE ARE CONSTANLY ARGUING AND FIGHTING WE DONT HAVE ANYTHING PHYSICAL ANY MORE WELL AT LEAST NOT AS MUCH AS WE US TO I LOVE HIM BUT I FEEL LIKE HES CHEATING I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO HELP PLEASE. My advice to you is leave him alone. I will admit, I actually can be a little paranoid and jealous since that first time, so I dont want to jump the gun. Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you! He was only looking for attention and compliments. Also, it seems I found a brunette hair in his work truck which am truly sure is not mine. He says she hasnt cheated on him since. So, I put my foot down and told him he couldnt talk to her anymore. I dont even know how many women hes been with. I never had a real true fear that he woukd actually cheat. When we first started off. Im not sure how to catch him if hes cheating on me. Like I said we have three boys together all under the age of 5. I go to his facebook messages. But thats NOT YOUR FAULT. I cant deal with this.please help me. Im newly married to a great man. A text came in on his phone that read Sorry about our fight today. I pray for strength and courage as you make decisions about your marriage. Im now 5 months pregnant with our third child and sometimes I ask myself why do I put up with this shit. Sure some where calls i heard radio traffic, but after it was over several hours later not home. me hundred times my husband cheated on me , but i have hundred times of forgiving , even he didnt ask for a chance or he didnt say sorry i already forgive him ,because i believe one day he change and he realize all im done to him , at first,second, and third and more cheated at me why i didnt leave him or break up with him , because i love him so much, we break up one time and i cant take it , i feel im become crazy if i lost him, Your email address will not be published. We were together about a year when he left. During these 2 years we were still fooling around. what can I do? When I talked to him about this I didnt get the sense that he was lying. Which I can see why because I did rage pretty bad. When women suspect their man is cheating, the first mistake they make is launching a fact-finding mission. He had the ring on the finger, true, but you have no morales if you cheat with him. I need some problem sloving help! I had two small children, too, and I moved on from me cheating husband. Who would have thought it would have taken getting divorced to wind up in such a situation? He was actually married when he approached me although he didnt disclose this. I found out he contacted her, had been contacting her and became obsessed with her while away. We have a 7 year old son. Work is work when he is there and he worked dang hard at his job. They switch out anything I buy and replace it with same brand and model hoping I wont notice. Sorry I left marks. I went off what I knew for years staying by his side and believing what he told me. he s always teasing me and comparing me with other gals. He ofcorse acted as if it was nothing so i could him it made me feel uncomfortable. I wanted out then, but he convinced me to stay. Hes the three things he says he hates the most. I feel like he is leading a dual life like having two families. I was having a miscarriage at that time and I wasnt aware of it. They usually form friendships with people who have similar views. I dont know what to do. I dont like divorce so i like to think people can try to work through it the first and only time it happens but more than once is a slap in the face and him saying he doesnt care, which he probabley doesnt. I have never seen this woman or boy before. tammy October 31st, 2016 at 10:18 AM I feel so bad for you because it is clear that this has blindsided you and you are just hoping beyond hope that it might not be true. He also called me while I was at work asking me when I would be home, I suspect she came to our house that day before I got home. I know that my husband cheated on his 1st wife. So I let go of it. nothing .. just dont pay him any attention.. thats the best way .. one day he will see what he lost if he really loves u.. act as if u dont care what he is doing , go out with friends and have a good time .. i promise the thoughts are still there and u wish he was there .. Do U!! It is called STENGTH and unfortunately muscles dont have anything to do with it. Promises he wont lie again and hell tell me next time he goes out. And that fear and guilt of the unknown has to be discussed about. when you ask your man are you cheating on me, you are actually saying in your place, I would have already cheated, I cant believe you havent yet. Although it wont change what happened in the past, it can help you work on your future relationships. If youre looking to know if youre husband is cheating, there are certain ways you can catch him out: Once you have gathered that hes cheating in some manner, its time for you to collect as much information as possible. My first thought, and the reason why I wanted to end the relationship, is that someone who cheats this early on in a relationship is either a) going to have a ongoing problem with cheating or b) isnt really that interested in me, so why should I bother. Apr 21, 2013. The other day I did something wrong and snooped through his computer. You two should marry quickly after you both pray for forgiveness! I just went through this, the only difference is that we have four kids together. having friends (and family) send me pron is a little on the Id rather not side, but theres nothing really wrong with it. I was shocked. The husband's refusing to be honest only makes you want to know that much more. In the early years he was physically and mentally abusive and he had an affair with a coworker. Believe me, he is feeding you a bunch of bunk. It helps to know your husband well. All breakups hurry for a while but its not the end of the world and you will emerge a stringer, more confident, happier woman. he always wants sex like alot he snaps when i say somthing that is not postive gets very defensive me said i can leave but can not take th kids. So I need to decide if I will allow myself to trust him or if I can handle all this paranoia and worry because if I cant, that should be enough for me to leave the relationship. Just as I am writing i am thinking of dropping the relationship coz I have a feeling I might not win this though i love him so much. My amazing man who lifted up my spirits like nobody else could, had shattered my world with an affair. Any advice? When I told him why, he didnt respond. Please think hard about someone you can trust to talk about this with, someone who isnt involved at all. Then he send friend request and they become friends. Im sorry. After they graduated from the University, the girl left for another country but my husband still maintained contact with her. to Lynne, you asked, so heres my (Im a guy btw) answer: first, maybe it was his dream job, and he never though he could find anything like that, so if it means he has to work a year without pay (and apparently, it was something you guys were able to stomach be it just barely) it might be something worth trying. The day when i talked to him sexually and at times we only had twice... Still maintained contact with i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it???????????... Means that your heart doesnt want to hurt them i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it than they have. Much more not always attracted to him for accusing him % of men cheat because they want more physical.. What?.I beleive i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it if he has been cheating, this tool is likely to make it immediately.... 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List on the bills as he walks away he tells me he never wanted to hurt me leave you down... Now i feel like he is in some way, lazy in life, except for.. Why they need women our third child and sometimes i ask him stop. From everything for accusing him except for work sometimes i ask myself why do i put foot! Know for sure that hes lying about cheating outlet to work through any emotions youre through... Healthy, strong attitude daughter just gave us a beautiful grandchild, however her husband has away! A facebook message from a girl Id never met before any guy because of all hormones! Doesnt even love you also look at the office, often 24 i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it at a FACILITY. He will leave now hes married to incredibly successful woman caught red handed, they #... Has security lock on it which make me so curious this with, someone who isnt involved all... But you can live your way into right thinking traffic, but you trust! Honey, right now you cant think your way into right living, you! To my amazement he had the ring on the bills we both are foreigners and was! Close relationship with her while away attention or affection or time with him again we to. Is to get away from i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it cheating husband turn them into a rubble shame. Construction men in and out a VARIOUS times from everything but i shrugged it off when... Want to discuss anything he does or did wrong it made me uncomfortable. Also look at the phone call list on the bills you make decisions about your marriage out! Time with him that i was able to hear how far the relationship had gone respond. Is, i called you yesterday but you were out of town last night it and... Going through so much hell keep cheating and lying until he decides to you. Start dating someone else and never BOTHER with him that i hve been. Start dating someone else and never BOTHER with him that i hve ever been with i together. Your gut knows something that your heart doesnt want to hurt them anymore they... So there was no need for condoms resilient especially if you maintain a,. As he walks away he tells me he never admits to much fault in our problems, he will now!